Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-06-04

Tales From SYL Ranch
Sunday, May 28, 20:00-22:00 UTC

This week, we’re taking a break from the Old Fan’s Commentary.  Don’t worry, it will return.  We’ve already got several episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and The Animated Series recorded.  We’re holding back Superman for its 40th Anniversary. Close Encounters Of the Third Kind will be along soon.

Question Mark
?

There’s also a Commentary for ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥▥ ▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥▥ coming up.  We’ve no idea when.  We’re just making it up as we go along.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy returns after a two-week hiatus.  It’s S02E03 of Zaphod Beeblebrox‘s psychotic episode.

Otherwise, we’re going full Old-Time Radio with a Martian twist.

Ray Bradbury
Ray Bradbury

We’ve also gone a with decidedly Ray Bradbury emphasis.  Two shows are adaptations of The Martian Chronicles.  The third is an experimental 1973 re-mounting of X-Minus One.

The tracklist for the week:

Setting the Stage
Times Square At Night, 1950
Times Square At Night, 1950

The earliest episode, “The Martian Chronicles,” originally aired on August 18, 1950.

In 1950, nothing we’ve come to take for granted existed.  There was no entertainment of the kind we’ve come to expect.  There was radio, movies … and that was all.

Audio recordings were unknown because the only reel-to-reel tape recorders were physically huge and prohibitively expensive.

The only computers in existence were the size of warehouses.  The phone in your pocket can do more, and billions of times faster.

Typical 1950 TV signal.
Typical 1950 TV signal.

Television was a nascent industry, and entirely black-and-white.  Some homes had TVs, but never more than one.  They produced a grainy, low-definition, analog, broadcast-quality picture.  The signal could be destroyed by all manner of nearby electromagnetic activity.  Running the vacuum cleaner would obliterate the picture.  Nearby storms would do the same.  If you were too close or too far from a station’s transmitter, the picture would become filled with static.

Arvin Table Radio, Model_480-TFM
Arvin Table Radio, Model_480-TFM

Radio was king, however it suffered from the same problems as television.  Sound quality would be unacceptable by modern standards.

As with modern television, networks provided shows to local affiliates.  These shows were exactly the same as today’s TV.  There were news programs, daytime soap-operas, dramas, situation comedies, cop shows, detective shows, and science fiction.  They had similar stories, told through sound rather than video.

There were advertisers as there are today.  In two of Sunday’s episodes, the advertisements are included.  You’ll immediately recognize one sponsor that’s still in business.

Of science fiction, there were two undisputed kings:  Dimension X and X-Minus One.

Dimension X aired 50 weekly episodes from April 8, 1950 to September 29, 1951.  X-Minus One aired 126 weekly episodes from April 22, 1955 to January 9, 1958.

X-Minus One Advertisement
X-Minus One Advertisement

X-Minus One was essentially a re-mounting of Dimension X with many of the same production personnel.  One can almost speak of both series in the same breath.

Both featured half-hour adaptations of the best science fiction short-stories then published, from the premiere SF magazines of the time:  Astounding and later Galaxy magazines.

Famous names include Isaac Asimov, Robert A. Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, H. Beam Piper, and a host of others.  I strongly encourage you to listen to both series.  All episodes are in the public domain and are easily-accessible on the Internet Archive.

Most stories are of excellent quality.  As nearly all originate with the best authors of the day, stories hold up well and can easily be translated to modern times.

Audio quality varies.  Some episodes only survive because someone with a wire recorder captured from the radio speaker itself.  On Tales From SYL Ranch, we try and bring you episodes that survive from the studio masters.

Mars Of 1950
Mars in 1950
Mars in 1950

Until telescopes improved and probes sent to Mars, some of the best scientists of the day thought that Mars might be habitable and/or inhabited.  Until the mid-1960s, many serious science fiction stories about a habitable Mars were written.

It’s little-known, but Gene Roddenberry‘s 1965 pitch for Star Trek limited the Enterprise‘s explorations to “planets approximating Earth-Mars conditions, life and social orders.”

Arguably the the most famous Mars story is Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles.  To attempt to describe it is impossible.  We strongly recommend that you read it.

While the locale of Mars has long-since been rendered problematic, the story holds up well.  If one simply substitutes an extra-Solar Earth-like planet for Mars, the plot and story could be written today.

Chesley Bonestell's Mars Rocketpad
Chesley Bonestell’s Mars Rocketpad

Some projections of technology are also now problematic.  It’s worth noting that Bradbury predicted the Smart Home, though in a more esoteric fashion than we see today.  As always, one must remember that writers were projecting forward from 1950s technology.  They could never have dreamt of the technological wonderland of 2017.

Aside from that, one simply has to use one’s imagination a bit more.  Good Old-Time Radio shows let the listener follow the action via sound effects.  Mediocre and bad ones (with the exception of Dragnet) narrated.

The only narration Sunday is in “The Martian Chronicles.”  That’s forgivable given the impossible task of reducing multiple short-stories and novellas to a half-hour show.

A family gathered around their radio.
A family gathered around their radio.

So sit back and transport yourself to another era where radio was king.  Imagine sitting in the living room, the family crowded around the radio, listening in earnest to The Martian Chronicles.

Update, Sat Jun 3 17:58:46 UTC 2017:

As a consequence of the following videos, I’ve added a libertarian rant.  It cost me three of the regular tracks, as time was very tight.

Listen for Gun Control Kills.

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-05-14

Tales From SYL Ranch, Sunday May 14, 2017

Episode II:
The Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars

The Old Fan's Commentary On Star Wars
The Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars

Just in time for the film’s 40th anniversary, Tales From SYL Ranch presents Episode II of the Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays on //aNONradio.net// 20:00-22:00 UTC. The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

Archives are available at //aNONradio.net// and the Internet Archive.

As usual, I’ll have The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy and topical music by Maestro John Williams sprinkled throughout.

Star Wars original title crawl.
Star Wars original title crawl.

As with last week’s Episode I, I’m streaming the film if you wish to follow along. I wouldn’t ordinarily do that, but I’m commenting on The Despecialized Edition.

The Despecialized Edition is a fan restoration that lovingly returns the film to nearly the theatrical version. Every shot has been color-corrected, as LucasFilm has never gotten the color right. All scenes added after 1977 have been removed. The original Fox logo and fanfare, original LucasFilm logo, and the original title crawl have been restored.

Han shot first.

Han shot first.
Han shot first.

My HD copy is as close as you can come to a pristine copy of the film reels on opening night.

I’ll not be streaming in HD, nor will the stream be available except during the live show. If you want it (and I highly recommend it) ,find it it the way I did. Bittorrent is your friend.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays on //aNONradio.net// 20:00-22:00 UTC. The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

As always, to set the stage:

It’s 1977. Everything we’ve come to take for granted didn’t exist. There was no streaming, no MP3s, no Internet, no personal computers of note. Powerful computers were the size of a warehouse and were only owned by governments, universities, and very large businesses.

Even phones were radically different. There was only one kind: the land-line to your house.

I was 12 years old — the precise target demographic of Star Wars.

I first saw Star Wars a few days after it opened. One has to recall that this was before Star Wars was a phenomenon. Where today one might spend all day in line for an opening, no one knew anything about Star Wars.

I don’t remember much about that first screening because it was totally eclipsed by my second.

The first screening was in an average-sized theater in Omaha, Nebraska. Theaters at that time were generally converted from live theaters and seated several hundred people at least.

The theater was jam-packed. By then, word-of-mouth had spread and people were coming back for additional showings.

One must remember that at that time, there was no home video nor streaming. Films were released for a limited run, and then never again. If you wanted to see a movie, you saw it in a theater or not at all. This partly accounts for Star Wars‘ success. It was so much fun that people flocked back to the theaters rather than miss seeing it a second, third, fourth, or fifth time.

I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Star Wars in the last forty years. It may well number in the thousands. I’ve watched it multiple times every year.

Star Wars is my favorite film of all time. Despite being a Trekkie almost from birth, Star Wars is a film that I can watch my entire life and never get bored.

My first screening of the film completely astonished me. This was totally brand new. There had certainly been space-opera adventures before, but nothing like this. The special effects were simply groundbreaking. The story is probably the perfect Hero’s Journey and never gets old.

As I say, I remember little from the first screening other than being completely blown away. I watched it with my father and best friend and remember walking out of the theater saying to my friend:

“Wow. That was way better than Logan’s Run.”

Keep in mind that pre-Star Wars, there was very little science fiction, neither in films nor television. Star Wars changed everything. After that, there has been a non-stop torrent of science fiction. Logan’s Run was the most recent SF film of note, also with groundbreaking special effects.

They couldn’t hold a candle to Star Wars.

However, my first screening became irrelevant after my second. I watched it at the Indian Hills Theater in Omaha, Nebraska. Sadly, it was demolished in 2001. It’s now a hospital parking lot.

In 1977, it was still in its heyday — and it had a CinemaScope screen.

A CinemaScope theater.
A CinemaScope theater.

You’re probably unfamiliar with CinemaScope. It was a very short-lived widescreen format which had a huge curved screen. The effect was the create a more immersive experience by attempting to cover the viewer’s periphery.

Boy, did it ever.

The interior auditorium of the Indian Hills was circular in shape and seated 810 patrons, with 662 on the main floor and 148 on the balcony.

When I arrived for my second showing, the house was already packed. There was absolutely nowhere to sit except dead-center of the front row.

In modern theaters, one avoids such seats due to severe parallax distortion. The Indian Hills, however, had a significant distance between the front row and the screen.

I saw in the front row, dead center …

It was an experience I’ll never forget. The curved screen made it completely fill my field of view, including my periphery.

The experience was barely describable — which is part of why I’m making the commentary. I actually became nauseous during the Trench Run.

To follow along with the amazing adventure of a 12-year-old watching Star Wars in CinemaScope, go to:

Be aware that the link for Star Wars: The Despecialized Edition will only be available during the live show.

Listen in and follow along to hear what it was like for a 12-year-old fan to see Star Wars for the second time — in CinemaScope!

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-05-07

 Tales From SYL Ranch, Sunday May 7, 2017

Episode I:
The Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars

The Old Fan's Commentary On Star Wars
The Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars

May the 4th be with you!

Just in time for the film’s 40th anniversary, Tales From SYL Ranch presents Episode I of the Old Fan’s Commentary On Star Wars.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays on //aNONradio.net// 20:00-22:00 UTC.  The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

Archives are available at //aNONradio.net// and the Internet Archive.

Internet Archive.

As usual, I’ll have The Hitchiker’s Guide To the Galaxy and topical music by Maestro John Williams sprinkled throughout.

This time around, I made a very conscious effort to speak in my General American accent.  Additionally, in the immortal words of my Junior High drama teacher, I have “dropped my jaw and enunciated.”

Hopefully this will make for a better listening experience.

Star Wars original title crawl.I’m also streaming the film if you wish to follow along.  I wouldn’t ordinarily do that, but I’m commenting on The Despecialized Edition.

The Despecialized Edition is a fan restoration that lovingly returns the film to nearly the theatrical version.  Every shot has been color-corrected, as LucasFilm has never gotten the color right.  All scenes added after 1977 have been removed.  The original Fox logo and fanfare, original LucasFilm logo, and the original title crawl have been restored.

Han shot first.

Han shot first.
Han shot first.

My HD copy is as close as you can come to a pristine copy of the film reels on opening night.

I’ll not be streaming in HD, nor will the stream be available except during the live show.  If you want it (and I highly recommend it) ,find it it the way I did.  Bittorrent is your friend.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays on //aNONradio.net// 20:00-22:00 UTC.  The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

As always, to set the stage:

It’s 1977.  Everything we’ve come to take for granted didn’t exist.  There was no streaming, no MP3s, no Internet, no personal computers of note. Powerful computers were the size of a warehouse and were only owned by governments, universities, and very large businesses.

Even phones were radically different.  There was only one kind:  the land-line to your house.

I was 12 years old — the precise target demographic of Star Wars.

I first saw Star Wars a few days after it opened.  One has to recall that this was before Star Wars was a phenomenon.  Where today one might spend all day in line for an opening, no one knew anything about Star Wars.

I don’t remember much about that first screening because it was totally eclipsed by my second.

The first screening was in an average-sized theater in Omaha, Nebraska.  Theaters at that time were generally converted from live theaters and seated several hundred people at least.

The theater was jam-packed.  By then, word-of-mouth had spread and people were coming back for additional showings.

One must remember that at that time, there was no home video nor streaming.  Films were released for a limited run, and then never again.  If you wanted to see a movie, you saw it in a theater or not at all.  This partly accounts for Star Wars‘ success.  It was so much fun that people flocked back to the theaters rather than miss seeing it a second, third, fourth, or fifth time.

I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Star Wars in the last forty years.  It may well number in the thousands.  I’ve watched it multiple times every year.

Star Wars is my favorite film of all time.  Despite being a Trekkie almost from birth, Star Wars is a film that I can watch my entire life and never get bored.

My first screening of the film completely astonished me.  This was totally brand new.  There had certainly been space-opera adventures before, but nothing like this.  The special effects were simply groundbreaking.  The story is probably the perfect Hero’s Journey and never gets old.

As I say, I remember little from the first screening other than being completely blown away.  I watched it with my father and best friend and remember walking out of the theater saying to my friend:

“Wow.  That was way better than Logan’s Run.”

Keep in mind that pre-Star Wars, there was very little science fiction, neither in films nor television.  Star Wars changed everything.  After that, there has been a non-stop torrent of science fiction.  Logan’s Run was the most recent SF film of note, also with groundbreaking special effects.

They couldn’t hold a candle to Star Wars.

However, my first screening became irrelevant after my second.  I watched it at the Indian Hills Theater in Omaha, Nebraska.  Sadly, it was demolished in 2001.  It’s now a hospital parking lot.

In 1977, it was still in its heyday — and it had a CinemaScope screen.

A CinemaScope theater.
A CinemaScope theater.

You’re probably unfamiliar with CinemaScope.  It was a very short-lived widescreen format which had a huge curved screen.  The effect was the create a more immersive experience by attempting to cover the viewer’s periphery.

Boy, did it ever.

The interior auditorium of the Indian Hills was circular in shape and seated 810 patrons, with 662 on the main floor and 148 on the balcony.

When I arrived for my second showing, the house was already packed.  There was absolutely nowhere to sit except dead-center of the front row.

In modern theaters, one avoids such seats due to severe parallax distortion.  The Indian Hills, however, had a significant distance between the front row and the screen.

I saw in the front row, dead center …

It was an experience I’ll never forget.  The curved screen made it completely fill my field of view, including my periphery.

The experience was barely describable — which is part of why I’m making the commentary.  I actually became nauseous during the Trench Run.

To follow along with the amazing adventure of a 12-year-old watching Star Wars in CinemaScope, go to:

Be aware that the link for Star Wars: The Despecialized Edition will only be available during the live show.

Listen in and follow along to hear what it was like for a 12-year-old fan to see Star Wars for the second time — in CinemaScope!

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-04-30

The Old Fan’s Commentary On Space: 1999

The Old Fan's Commentary On Space: 1999
The Old Fan’s Commentary On Space: 1999

There’s an Old Fan’s Commentary On Space:1999 this week on Tales From SYL Ranch!

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays, 20:00-22:00 UTC on //aNONradio.net//

We hadn’t planned to do this, but we’re using a new rig and providing additional streaming.  Rather than risk it falling to pieces during the Old Fan’s Commentary on Star Wars (Sunday, May  7th and 14th), we decided to test it first on a known disaster.

We’ll only be commenting on one Space: 1999 episode: S01E01 – “Breakaway.”  It’s a wonderful example of the show getting many things very, very right — while simultaneously being the dumbest premise ever conceived Spoilers.

Space: 1999 is so schizophrenic that it’s unlikely there will be future commentaries.  It’s noteworthy for a few reasons, the most obvious being the then-state-of-the-art special effects.  Some Space: 1999 model and effects artists later worked on Star Wars and were part of ILM‘s founding team.

Variations on the Eagle's pod
Variations on the Eagle’s mission-specific pods. This is something the show did very, very right.

Space: 1999‘s Eagle was extremely detailed and featured a practical, modular design.  It’s one of the things Space: 1999 got very, very right.  To this day, the Eagle is one of the most revered (and outright coolest) spaceship designs ever imagined.  It often appears in the background of other films as an Easter Egg.

Eagle on the launchpad
The Eagle with a passenger pod on a Moonbase Alpha launchpad. Note the docking mechanism on the left and a parked moonbggy on the right.

A always, the Old Fan’s Commentary will attempt to focus more on what was happening in science fiction fandom at the time rather than interesting tidbits about the film.

As always, we’ll have The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy and topical music sprinkled throughout.

To set the stage:

It’s September of 1975.  You’re ten years old.  You’re a huge Star Trek fan.  That in turn led you to SF literature, in particular Larry Niven.  In 1973, Niven adapted one of his short-stories, “The Soft Weapon,” into an episode of Star Trek: The Animated Series.

You quickly discovered that “The Soft Weapon” is part of a much  larger Known Space universe.  Because Niven is a stickler for scientific accuracy, you’ve learned to demand it.  In 1975, all science fiction fans demanded it.

Other than Star Trek: The Animated Series,  there’s been no science fiction of note — neither in TV nor film — for over five years.  There’s a burgeoning Star Trek fan community in the US that’s just finding its legs.

That fan community constantly butts heads with Old Fans.  The Old Fans grew up with nothing but literature.  They find filmed science fiction to be banal and insipid by comparison.

This absolutely includes Star Trek.  In 1975, there was a clear delineation between “real fans” and “Trekkies.”

Through the grapevine, you hear about a new show, Space:1999.  It has known stars in the lead roles.  Martin Landau and Barbara Bain had starred in Mission: Impossible.  Barry Morse had spent four years chasing Dr. Richard Kimball in The Fugutive.

That all sounds good.  Production stills begin appearing in certain magazines, and those look good.  The models look good, the sets look good, the space suits all look good.

The premise of the series is patently ludicrous.  Even a 10-year-old knew that Spoilers.

Those are the things in your mind as you tune in (on low-def broadcast TV).

We’ll be trying a couple of experiments this time around.  In addition to the podcast stream of the commentary, we’ll be making a low-res version of the episode available for streaming — but only during the show!  If this works, we’ll do the same to the next two weeks’ Old Fan Commentary On Star Wars.

To play the episode, click here:

Sunday’s tracklist:

  • “When Twilight Falls On NGC 891”
  • Space 1999: “Main Titles”
  • Space 1999 – War Games:  “Armageddon”
  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:  Primary Phase – Fit the Sixth (S01E06)
  • Space 1999: “Breakaway”
  • Introduction To the Old Fan’s Commentary On Space: 1999
  • The Old Fan’s Commentary On Space: 1999
  • Space: 1999: “Theme Montage”
  • The Star Wars Holiday Special
    “Can we air just twenty minutes of Chewie noises??”
    – Jack Packard

What were fans doing in 1975 when Space:1999 premiered?  Listen to Tales From SYL Ranch find out!

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live
Sundays, 20:00-22:00 UTC on
//aNONradio.net//

[Spoilers]
Why Space: 1999 Has the Dumbest Premise Ever Concieved

You can’t blow the Moon out of orbit.

Seriously, that’s it, right there: the basic premise of the show is ludicrously impossible.  Science Fiction fans are the most demanding viewers in existence.  If you screw up in such a flagrantly stupid fashion, you’ve probably lost your audience and don’t know it.

The Moon is not a billiard ball that can be knocked off its trajectory by something sufficiently massive.  You can’t put a rocket engine on it.  It’s so large as to be occasionally classified as a dwarf planet.

If you struck the Moon with sufficient force to knock it out of orbit, that’s not what would happen.  Instead, you’d start with a very deep hole.  It would get deeper until such time as the Moon itself couldn’t withstand the stress.  The Moon would then crack like a gigantic egg — the difference being that it would spew white-hot volcanic rocks the size of other planets’ moons.

If you were lucky, you’d wind up with a few big rocks and change.  With more luck, the rocks will stay in the Moon’s orbit, meaning we’d suddenly have pieces of Moon orbiting the Earth in roughly the same spot.

If you weren’t lucky, the rocks would be small.  You’d then have a nice, new asteroid belt around Earth in former Moon’s orbit.

In either case, risk of extinction by Moonrock becomes very likely. Regardless, there will be Earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, tidal waves, and tectonic/volcanic eruptions. The tilt of the Earth could change.

Worse is the location location of the explosion.  The writers keep referring to “the dark side of the Moon” as though that’s meaningful.  In fact, the “dark side” of the Moon isn’t dark.  It’s just the side of the Moon not facing Earth.

The Moon’s orbit and rotation are such that only one side of it faces Earth.  Until the Space Age, astronomers didn’t know what the other side of the Moon looked like.  They called it “the dark side” to indicate that it was a big blank spot on the map.

That means is that they were dumping nuclear waste as far from Earth as possible — which is a good idea from a radiation standpoint.  It was an idea that had been bounced around in science fiction since Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

However, if you hit the Moon with force sufficient to knock it out of orbit, you’re doing so on the face exactly opposite Earth. The aforementioned massive, white-hot volcanic rock would come spewing straight at Earth.

Earth-bound disasters are hinted-at in the episode, but not enough thought was given to it. People would die by the billions. Civilization might be reduced to the Stone Age or worse.

The idea of the Moon blowing out of orbit is galactically stupid.

That doesn’t even begin to touch the faster-than-light speeds the Moon would require to reach another planet every week.

Space: 1999 is very schizophrenic.  On the one hand, there are the many things it gets right.  Unfortunately, it’s in the service of a laughable premise; often featuring plots with no internal logic.

“It’s sci-fi, anything can happen, so who needs to explain it?” seems to have been the writers’ motto.


An Exclusive Look Inside SYL Ranch Studios

Always know where your towel is.
SYL Ranch Studios – 2017-04-28.
Always know where your towel is.

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-04-23

Doctor Who Fan Orchestra
Doctor Who Fan Orchestra

In celebration of the beginning of Series 10, It’s the day of the Doctor on Tales From SYL Ranch — though probably not the one you expected.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays 20:00-22:00 UTC on // aNONradio.net //

We’ll be playing a selection of Murray Gold’s excellent scores from the modern Doctor Who series.  However, it will not be an ordinary orchestra performing it — but rather the Doctor Who Fan Orchestra.

Doctor Who Fan Orchestra is a collaborative project by musicians all over the world.  They’re sent sheet music for their particular part and record it alone.  They never hear the finished work until it’s edited together.

If you want to join the Orchestra, visit https://doctorwhofanorchestra.blogspot.com/ and simply wait for their next call for musicians.  They need all kinds, including vocals.  If you’re a good musician, go to the site and sign up!

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays 20:00-22:00 UTC on // aNONradio.net //

Today’s tracks are:

  • When Twilight Falls On NGC 891
  • Doctor Who (Original Theme)
  • DWFO – About the Doctor Who Fan Orchestra
  • DWFO -Tuning-
  • DWFO -1- -I Am The Doctor-
  • DWFO -2- -Vale Decem-
  • DWFO -3- -Doomsday-
  • DWFO -4- -Dalek Suite-
  • DWFO -5- -The Impossible Astronaut (Suite)-
  • DWFO -6- -A Christmas Carol (Suite)-
  • Doctor Who – Creating the Theme Radiophonic Workshop
  • DWFO -8- -50th Anniversary Suite-
  • Doctor Who Theme At the Proms 2010 (With Scream)
  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy 1: Primary Phase – Fit the Fifth (S01E01)
  • HardWire – The New Empire Howell Theme

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays 20:00-22:00 UTC on // aNONradio.net //

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-04-16

This episode of Tales From SYL Ranch is dedicated to William N. Grigg.

William N. Grigg
“The truth has lost another champion when there are so few left.”
– Jay P. Hailey

The libertarian community was saddened by the loss of William N. Grigg on Wednesday.

We thought about changing our programming. It would have been easy to do an entire show of his Greatest Hits.

But we know Bill wouldn’t want that.  He’d have told us not to bother on his account.

Rather than altering the songs, we’ve put them in an order we think that Bill would have approved.  That’s why it’s Shania Twain week on Tales From SYL Ranch: because that’s what it was always going to be.

A podcast can be many things.  Sometimes it needs to remind mourners to celebrate.  Not Bill’s death, of course — but rather the man that he was.

If there’s one thing Bill knew about, it was rocking this country.  He’d have rocked every country right out of this world, if at humanly possible — libertarian-style.

Shania Twain Farewell Tour
Shania Twain Farewell Tour, Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa, US

Tracks this week are:

  1. William N. Grigg Dedication (by Jay P. Hailey)
  2. Rock This Country
  3. Party For Two (with Billy Currington)
  4. Don’t Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)
  5. Love Gets Me Every Time
  6. You Shook Me All Night Long
  7. From This Moment On
  8. Man! I Feel Like A Woman
  9. That Don’t Impress Me Much
  10. Any Man Of Mine
  11. What A Way To Wanna Be
  12. Honey I’m Home
  13. Thank You Baby!
  14. Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under
  15. Nah!
  16. Ka-Ching
  17. In My Car
  18. I’m Gonna Getcha Good
  19. Come On Over
  20. Forever and For Always
  21. Up! Live In Chicago
Shania Twain Fans with phone flashes on.
Shania Twain fans with phone flashes on, Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa, US

Things to watch for this week, in addition to the dedication:

  • Program IDs change to be somewhat topical.
  • There’s the usual Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy BBC Radio series episode.  We’re only on S01E04, so it’s a good time to dive in.
  • There’s a faux-Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy entry by TTS voice “SYL Mike.”  It’s already been posted to YouTube, but we though it’s one of the better ones so far.  You be the judge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb6y_pv5as4

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays, 20:00-22:00 UTC on // aNONradio.net //

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-04-09

Old Fan Commentary - STTMP Part 2
Old Fan Commentary – STTMP Part 2

Sunday on Tales From SYL Ranch: the conclusion of the Old Fan’s Commentary on Star Trek – The Motion Picture (the Director’s Edition).

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net.

This week, we’ll be talking about what it was like as a teenaged Star Trek fan to see the film for the first time in 1979. We’ll also talk about fandom of that period and what it was like to live through it.

We’ll also have the usual episode of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy.  After all, you can’t listen to Bill talk for an hour without wanting to slit your wrists.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net. The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

Listen to Bill discuss the first Star Trek movie (the one people usually like to forget).

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net.

(Feel free to pass around the poster.)

As promised, my Isher Artifacts Model A, SN A013.

Isher Artifacts Model A - SN A013
Isher Artifacts Model A – SN A013

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-04-02

The Old Fan's Commentary on Star Trek - The Motion Picture
The Old Fan’s Commentary on Star Trek – The Motion Picture

Sunday on Tales From SYL Ranch: part one of the Old Fan’s Commentary on Star Trek – The Motion Picture (the Director’s Edition).

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net.

This week, we’ll be talking about what it was like as a teenaged Star Trek fan to see the film for the first time in 1979. We’ll also talk about fandom of that period and what it was like to live through it.

We’ll also have the usual episode of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy and a smattering of amusing bits throughout.

After all, you can’t listen to Bill talk for an hour without wanting to slit your wrists.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net. The station is listed on iTunes, TuneIn, and other streaming services.

Listen to Bill discuss the first Star Trek movie (the one people usually like to forget).

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00-22:00 UTC at http://anonradio.net.

(Feel free to pass around the poster.)

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-03-19

It’s all-comedy all-the-time on this Sunday’s Tales From SYL Ranch.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00 – 22:00 UTC at // aNONrado.net //

(If you’re not in UTC, either do the math or ask Siri/Google.)

About three-fourths of the show is my informal “best of” “Weird Al” Yankovic. His career stretches back to the early 1980s. The task became narrowing it down to about an hour-and-a-half.

They’re all gems. In fact, I had to cut some I liked for time, so it’s really the best of Al’s best.

Update:  “Weird Al” dropped a new collection, Medium Rarities, this week.  The timing was entirely unintentional.  However, I’ve changed the playlist accordingly.

“It’s Still Billy Joel” has been downgraded from “rare” to “medium rare.”   “Chicken Pot Pie” is still “very rare” and is from my personal collection.

The Holy Grail of “Weird Al” fans, “Belvedere Cruising,” has downgraded all the way to “medium rare.”   It’s the song that got Al his break on the Doctor Demento show; which in turn propelled him to stardom.

The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy Radio Show
H2G2

Then I have a new, permanent addition to the podcast. Henceforth, I will be running The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy radio program.

Younger listeners may not be aware of the Hitchhiker’s Guide strange history. It began as a BBC Radio series, then a couple of books, then more radio, then TV, then more books, then a movie, and then more radio.

I’ll be playing all five radio series, starting with series one, episode one on Sunday. I’ll be running them for about four years.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00 – 22:00 UTC at // aNONrado.net //

And the following two weeks , you’ll hear my voice for the first time — and you will ultimately be grateful for the respite of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy.

I’m going to do a two-part “Old Fan’s Commentary” of Star Trek – The Motion Picture.

I’m doing this not because I have any great backstage knowledge.  I’ll talk about what I know, but that’s not the point.  This is a fan commentary.  I’m going to talk about Star Trek fandom in the 1970s, and how it was for a teen-aged Trekkkie to see the film for the first time.

I’ll be commenting on the Director’s Edition, so if you want to follow along, get out your DVDs, stream from your favorite service, or … well, you know.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard Sundays from 20:00 – 22:00 UTC at // aNONrado.net //

For reference, here’s the full playlist. With the exception of the Hitchhiker’s Guide, they’re all “Weird Al” Yankovic songs.

  1. Don’t Download This Song
  2. Belvedere Cruising
  3. Another One Rides The Bus
  4. I Love Rocky Road
  5. Ricky
  6. Eat It
  7. Nature Trail To Hell
  8. Chicken Pot Pie
  9. Like A Surgeon
  10. The Brady Bunch
  11. It’s Still Billy Joel To Me
  12. Theme From Rocky XIII: The Rye Or the Kaiser
  13. Amish Paradise
  14. I Lost On Jeopardy
  15. Gump
  16. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy 1: Primary Phase – Fit the First
  17. One More Minute
  18. Girls Just Want To Have Lunch
  19. Ebay
  20. Perform This Way
  21. Albuquerque
  22. Party In The CIA
  23. Ode To A Superhero
  24. Bohemian Polka

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-03-12

Inspired by last week’s episode of X-Minus One, “The Green Hills Of Earth”, Tales From SYL Ranch goes full OTR (Old-Time Radio) this week.

Tales From SYL Ranch can be heard live Sundays, 20:00-22:00 UTC on // aNONradio.net //

I have four great episodes from two different shows queued-up.

While researching episodes, I uncovered a real X-Minus One treat!

OTR sound quality varies wildly. Sometimes a studio master survived long enough to be transferred to vinyl more-or-less intact. Sometimes the only thing that survived was a wire recording whose microphone was placed at the radio’s speaker — and then transferred to vinyl decades later.

They’re never in stereo. The concept didn’t exist when these shows were made.

However, when I decided on the episodes to use, I made sure to do a thorough Google search. Previously-lost episodes (or better quality ones) appear from time to time.

Then I was stunned. Someone released a number of episodes that have been lovingly (and probably manually) …

Stereo processed!

That’s right, both X-Minus One episodes are in glorious stereo for the first time, and it will knock your frakking space-boots off!

I had to include some Dragnet. Jack Webb was a straight-up radiophonic genius. He employed five foley artists, an unheard-of number at the time.

Where other shows might resort to narration to describe a fight, Dragnet rarely does. If it happens, it will be a line like, “Watch it, Joe!” followed by the unmistakable sound of an oil drum being pushed-down down a flight of stairs.

Webb’s foley artists could carry you through a fistfight without a line being uttered. You knew when Friday threw a punch. You knew when the antagonist threw a bottle at Friday or his partner. There’s never the slightest doubt in your mind what’s happening.

That’s true genius.

There is also Webb’s well-known obsession for technical accuracy. He had two Los Angeles detectives for technical advice, and of course the scripts were culled from real LAPD cases.

Jack Webb invented the police procedural in 1948 with his film, He Walked By Night .

Webb made the mold and every cop show since has been using it.

Just listen to the introduction:

Tell me you’re not hearing Law & Order, CSI, or any other cop show for the last 69 years.

That’s right: they’ve all been ripping-off Jack Webb for 69 years. Law and Order is shameless.

Moreover, these are great episodes. The sound quality isn’t up to the X-Minus Ones, but it hardly matters. Webb’s genius shines from the first minute when Friday steps into a phone booth.

The story is a two-parter. In Part 1 of “The Big Man,” Friday goes undercover for seven months as part of a narcotics investigation. Part 2 is another few months working the same case from a different angle.

Webb loved radio so much that he concurrently produced a Dragnet TV and radio show, with different weekly episodes on each.

“The Big Man” was ultimately adapted for television, but only the last minute or two survives. That’s because at the conclusion of the TV episode, Friday was promoted from Sergeant to Lieutenant.

That’s how good this episode is.

Did you know that Dragnet was a franchise? Concurrent with the TV and radio series, a 1954 Dragnet film was released in theaters. A novel, The Case Of the Courteous Killer, was published.

The book is very meta, inasmuch as the LAPD detectives Webb used for technical advice (Vance Brasher and Marty Wynn) are characters in the novel.

Years later, Webb remounted Dragnet for TV. He very shortly began spinning off other shows in the “Dragnet-verse.”

Adam-12 is probably the best-known, with Emergency! close on its heels. There was also The D.A., which starred Robert Conrad as district attorney Paul Ryan.

All four shows occasionally crossed-over. In one episode of Dragnet, Adam-12‘s Reed and Malloy are questioned by Friday and Gannon regarding a police brutality incident. In an episode of Adam-12, Paul Ryan is called to a crime scene to offer legal advice about possibly tainting evidence.

In one particularly noteworthy episode of Emergency! characters from that show, Adam-12, and The D.A. all pass each other in a hallway, each working a different aspect of the same case.

(And of course Malloy, the well-known ladies’ man of Adam-12, hits on Dixie McCall, the knockout head nurse of Emergency!)

All that began with what you’ll hear tomorrow in, “The Big Man.”

Listen to Tales From SYL Ranch Sunday from 20:00-22:00 UTC on// aNONradio.net //

(I don’t know what time that’s going to be wherever you are. Google it.)