Frozen Music Playlist Episode 22, September 30th, 2017

EPISODE 22    
Track Name Length Running
Nirvana – Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle 04:09 04:09
Intro 02:00 06:09
Dead Weather – No Hassle Night 02:55 09:04
Holiday Party – I’m Still Here 03:51 12:55
MuchFact Axed!!! 02:00 14:55
Wolfmother – 10000 Feet 04:06 19:01
The Pack AD – So What 03:57 22:58
Dog Day – Interview 02:21 25:19
Break 02:00 27:19
The White Stripes – Truth Doesn’t Make A Noise 03:14 30:33
Weezer – The World Has Turned and Left Me Here 04:18 34:51
Arctic Monkeys – D Is For Dangerous 02:16 37:07
Break 02:00 39:07
Beck – We Dance Alone 03:56 43:03
Band of Skulls – You’re Not Pretty But You Got It Goin’ On 03:04 46:07
Auf Der Maur – Followed The Waves 04:48 50:55
Break 02:00 52:55
Banks – This Is What It Feels Like 05:02 57:57
Florence + The Machine – My Boy Builds Coffins 02:56 60:53
Metric – Wet Blanket 04:07 65:00
Intro 00:20 65:20
July Talk – Picturing Love 03:35 68:55
The Kills – No Wow/Telephone Radio Germany 04:47 73:42
Local H – Feed 02:37 76:19
Offspring – Staring at the Sun 02:13 78:32
Break 02:00 80:32

SUYF! Shards 9: Never on Sunday


Hour 1

  1. Nefertiti – Miles Davis: Nefertiti
  2. Epistrophy – Thelonious Monk: Monk
  3. Road – Nick Drake: Pink Moon
  4. Mother Nature’s Son – The Beatles: White Album
  5. In the Summertime – Bob Dylan: Shot of Love
  6. Behind That Locked Door – George Harrison: All Things Must Pass
  7. What is Life? George Harrison: Live in Japan
  8. Second Guessing – R.E.M.: Reckoning
  9. Terror Couple Kill Colonel (Remix) – Bauhaus: In the Flat Field
  10. White Light /  White Heat – The Velvet Underground: White Light / White Heat
  11. Tatters – Lou Reed: Ecstasy
  12. Strange Feelin’ – Tim Buckley: Happy Sad
  13. Getting Better – Fionn Regan: Mojo – Sgt. Pepper  . . . With a Little Help From My Friends
  14. Candy Says – The Velvet Underground: Loaded / Reloaded: Live at Second Fret, Philadelphia, May 9, 1970

Hour 2

  1. Like Swimming – Morphine: Like Swimming
  2. Rockin’  In Rhythm – Oscar Peterson: Planet Jazz (1947 – 49 recordings)
  3. Ab-Soul’s Outro – Kendrick Lamar: Section 80
  4. Wherever June Bugs Go – Archie Shepp: Live in San Fransico
  5. Growin’ Up – Bruce Springsteen: Greetings from Asbury Park
  6. The Promised Land – Bruce Springsteen: Darkness on the Edge of Town
  7. Off Work – Thurston Moore: Trees Outside the Academy
  8. Teen Age Riot – Sonic Youth: Daydream Nation
  9. Academy Fight Song – Mission of Burma: Vs.
  10. Elevation – Television: Marquee Moon
  11. Career Opportunities – The Clash: The Clash
  12. Lone Star Queen – New York Dolls: Rock ‘n Roll
  13. Drop Dead Legs – Van Halen: 1984
  14. Ice Cream Man – Van Halen: Van Halen

SUYF! Shards 8: You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’


Hour 1

  1. Bolero, ballet for orchestra (or piano) – Maurice Ravel: Herbert von Karajan (conductor) Berlin Philharmonic
  2. Allegro non troppo Symphony No. 8 – Dmitri Shostakovich: Bernard Haitlink (conductor) Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra
  3. Intro Pompeii I – Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii
  4. Cymbaline – Hawkwind: In Search of Syd
  5. I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times – The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
  6. Desert Island Disk – Radiohead: Moon Shaped Pool
  7. The Black Angel’s Death Song  – The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico
  8. Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues – Bob Dylan: Highway 61 Revisited
  9. Born in the 50’s – The Police: Outlandos d’Amour
  10. Rise Above – Black Flag: Damaged
  11. Ain’t That a Kick in the Head – Dean Martin: Dino: The Essential Dean Martin
  12. Is She Really Going Out with Him? – Joe Jackson: Look Sharp!
  13. Fixing a Hole – The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
  14. I Want to Live – John Zorn: Naked City

Hour 2

  1. To Da Break of Dawn – LL Cool J: Mama Said Knock You Out
  2. Contract On the World Love Jam / Brothers Gonna Work It Out – Public Enemy: Fear of a Black Planet
  3. If Music Could Talk – The Clash: Sandinista
  4. Talkin’ WWIII Blues – Bob Dylan: The Bootleg Vol. 6: Bob Dylan Live 1964 – Concert at Philharmonic Hall
  5. New Frontiers / Civil War – Jonathan Winters: Another Day Another World
  6. Weatherbox – Mission of Burma: Vs.
  7. Factory – Wall of Voodoo: Call of the West
  8. You Got Me Floatin’ – Jimi Hendrix: Axis Bold As Love
  9. Love Buzz – Nirvana: Bleach
  10. Ain’t Talking About Love – Van Halen: Live: Right Here, Right Now
  11. Electric Funeral – Black Sabbath: Parnoid
  12. Charlotte Sometimes – The Cure: Staring at the Sea – The Singles
  13. The Drop – Peter Gabriel: Up
  14. Rain – Nick Drake: Family Tree
  15. Let the Beauty Be – Bob Mould: Beauty & Ruin

SUYF! Shards 7: Do You Hear What I Hear?


Hour 1

  1. Time – Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon
  2. Nevertheless – Bob Dylan: Fallen Angels
  3. Sunday Morning – The Velvet Underground: Loaded / Re-loaded:Live at Max’s Kansas City
  4. Girl from the North Country – Bob Dylan: Nashville Skyline
  5. Going Nowhere – Elliot Smith: New Moon
  6. Sunday – Nick Drake: Bryter Layter
  7. INGENTING – Red Martian: Ghost Into the Fog
  8. Only a Northern Song – The Beatles: Yellow Submarine Sountrack
  9. Maggot Brain – Funkadelic: Maggot Brain
  10. Heart Is a Drum – Beck: Morning Phase
  11. Saturday Morning – Real Estate: Reality
  12. It’s Real – John Lennon: Acoustic
  13. Pink Bullets – The Shins: Chutes Too Narrow
  14. A Summer Song: Chad and Jeremy: The Best of Chad and Jeremy
  15. Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley: Grace

Hour 2

  1. Birds in Perspex – Robyn Hitchcock and The Egyptians: Perspex Island
  2. WRNW – Howard Stern: Private Parts Soundtrack
  3. Sheena Is a Punk Rocker – Husker Du: The Living End
  4. White Riot – The Clash: The Clash
  5. Dead Cops – MDC: Elvis – In the Rheinland / Live in Berlin
  6. Dumb All Over – Frank Zappa: You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 1
  7. Come Together – Primal Scream: 7″ Remix
  8. Those Were the Days – Theme – All in the Family (eponymous)
  9. Gimme Me Some Truth – John Lennon: Imagine
  10. The World According to Nouns – Minutemen: Double Nickels on a Dime
  11. Lover’s Town Revisited – Billy Bragg: Life’s a Riot
  12. Can’t Forget – Yo La Tengo: Fakebook
  13. Stoned and Starving: Parquet Courts: Light Up Gold
  14. Starve the Beat – Screaming Females (Live)
  15. A Very Nice Body – Frank Zappa: Civilization Phaze III
  16. Passenger Side – Wilco: A.M.
  17. 1981 – PIL: This Is What You Want  . . . This Is What You Get
  18. Dreams – Fleetwood Mac: Rumors
  19. Baby It’s You – The Beatles: Please Please Me

SUYF! Shards 5: Sowing the Seeds of Love


Hour 1

  1. Showtime? – Elvis Presley: Having Fun with Elvis on Stage
  2. One of These Things First – Nick Drake: Bryter Layter
  3. Constantine’s Dream – Patti Smith: Banga
  4. The Night I Learned How Not to Pray – Iris DeMent:Sing the Delta
  5. All Cats Are Grey – The Cure: Faith
  6. Blue Jay Way – The Beatles: Magical Mystery Tour
  7. Ya Sah – Nass El Ghinwane: Passion Sources
  8. I’m Not – Panda Bear: Person Pitch
  9. In My Room – The Beach Boys: Surfer Girl
  10. Sinner Man – Nina Simone: How It Feels to be Free
  11. Darkness – The Police: Ghost in the Machine
  12. Her Boyfriend Assesses His Value and Pleads His Case – Kip Hanrahan: Desire Develops An Edge

Hour 2

  1. Ballad of a Thin Man – Bob Dylan: Highway 61 Revisited
  2. Set the Controls Into the Heart of the Sun – Pink Floyd: An Hour with Pink Floyd Live
  3. Various Times – The Fall: 45 rpm
  4. No Deposit – No Return – Black Flag: Family Man
  5. Humanoid Boogie – The Bonzo Dog Band: In Search of Syd
  6. Public Service Announcement
  7. Dirty Boots – Sonic Youth: Goo
  8. t.v. eye – The Stooges: Funhouse
  9. I’m Waiting for the Man – The Velvet Underground: The Complete Matrix Tapes
  10. My Baby’s Comin’ Home – Les Paul and Mary Ford: The Best of the Capitol Masters: 90th Birthday Edition
  11. When Will You Come Home – Galaxie 500: On Fire
  12. I Know You, Pt. 2 Morphine: Good
  13. Nightclub Jitters – The Replacements: Please to Meet Me

6/9/2017 My Absence (an apology)

My apologies, family obligations and forgetfulness is the cause of my absence. I haven’t disappeared, just have been insanely busy. Going to finish the track lists that were in drafts that I never got around to posting. From this point forward I do have a reminder set on my phone so I don’t forget.

I wanted to return this week, but a napping 2yr old niece and AC issues are making that impossible. It’s like 86 degrees indoors right now.

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-06-04

Tales From SYL Ranch
Sunday, May 28, 20:00-22:00 UTC

This week, we’re taking a break from the Old Fan’s Commentary.  Don’t worry, it will return.  We’ve already got several episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and The Animated Series recorded.  We’re holding back Superman for its 40th Anniversary. Close Encounters Of the Third Kind will be along soon.

Question Mark

There’s also a Commentary for ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥▥ ▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥ ▥▥▥ ▥▥▥▥▥ coming up.  We’ve no idea when.  We’re just making it up as we go along.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy returns after a two-week hiatus.  It’s S02E03 of Zaphod Beeblebrox‘s psychotic episode.

Otherwise, we’re going full Old-Time Radio with a Martian twist.

Ray Bradbury
Ray Bradbury

We’ve also gone a with decidedly Ray Bradbury emphasis.  Two shows are adaptations of The Martian Chronicles.  The third is an experimental 1973 re-mounting of X-Minus One.

The tracklist for the week:

Setting the Stage
Times Square At Night, 1950
Times Square At Night, 1950

The earliest episode, “The Martian Chronicles,” originally aired on August 18, 1950.

In 1950, nothing we’ve come to take for granted existed.  There was no entertainment of the kind we’ve come to expect.  There was radio, movies … and that was all.

Audio recordings were unknown because the only reel-to-reel tape recorders were physically huge and prohibitively expensive.

The only computers in existence were the size of warehouses.  The phone in your pocket can do more, and billions of times faster.

Typical 1950 TV signal.
Typical 1950 TV signal.

Television was a nascent industry, and entirely black-and-white.  Some homes had TVs, but never more than one.  They produced a grainy, low-definition, analog, broadcast-quality picture.  The signal could be destroyed by all manner of nearby electromagnetic activity.  Running the vacuum cleaner would obliterate the picture.  Nearby storms would do the same.  If you were too close or too far from a station’s transmitter, the picture would become filled with static.

Arvin Table Radio, Model_480-TFM
Arvin Table Radio, Model_480-TFM

Radio was king, however it suffered from the same problems as television.  Sound quality would be unacceptable by modern standards.

As with modern television, networks provided shows to local affiliates.  These shows were exactly the same as today’s TV.  There were news programs, daytime soap-operas, dramas, situation comedies, cop shows, detective shows, and science fiction.  They had similar stories, told through sound rather than video.

There were advertisers as there are today.  In two of Sunday’s episodes, the advertisements are included.  You’ll immediately recognize one sponsor that’s still in business.

Of science fiction, there were two undisputed kings:  Dimension X and X-Minus One.

Dimension X aired 50 weekly episodes from April 8, 1950 to September 29, 1951.  X-Minus One aired 126 weekly episodes from April 22, 1955 to January 9, 1958.

X-Minus One Advertisement
X-Minus One Advertisement

X-Minus One was essentially a re-mounting of Dimension X with many of the same production personnel.  One can almost speak of both series in the same breath.

Both featured half-hour adaptations of the best science fiction short-stories then published, from the premiere SF magazines of the time:  Astounding and later Galaxy magazines.

Famous names include Isaac Asimov, Robert A. Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, H. Beam Piper, and a host of others.  I strongly encourage you to listen to both series.  All episodes are in the public domain and are easily-accessible on the Internet Archive.

Most stories are of excellent quality.  As nearly all originate with the best authors of the day, stories hold up well and can easily be translated to modern times.

Audio quality varies.  Some episodes only survive because someone with a wire recorder captured from the radio speaker itself.  On Tales From SYL Ranch, we try and bring you episodes that survive from the studio masters.

Mars Of 1950
Mars in 1950
Mars in 1950

Until telescopes improved and probes sent to Mars, some of the best scientists of the day thought that Mars might be habitable and/or inhabited.  Until the mid-1960s, many serious science fiction stories about a habitable Mars were written.

It’s little-known, but Gene Roddenberry‘s 1965 pitch for Star Trek limited the Enterprise‘s explorations to “planets approximating Earth-Mars conditions, life and social orders.”

Arguably the the most famous Mars story is Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles.  To attempt to describe it is impossible.  We strongly recommend that you read it.

While the locale of Mars has long-since been rendered problematic, the story holds up well.  If one simply substitutes an extra-Solar Earth-like planet for Mars, the plot and story could be written today.

Chesley Bonestell's Mars Rocketpad
Chesley Bonestell’s Mars Rocketpad

Some projections of technology are also now problematic.  It’s worth noting that Bradbury predicted the Smart Home, though in a more esoteric fashion than we see today.  As always, one must remember that writers were projecting forward from 1950s technology.  They could never have dreamt of the technological wonderland of 2017.

Aside from that, one simply has to use one’s imagination a bit more.  Good Old-Time Radio shows let the listener follow the action via sound effects.  Mediocre and bad ones (with the exception of Dragnet) narrated.

The only narration Sunday is in “The Martian Chronicles.”  That’s forgivable given the impossible task of reducing multiple short-stories and novellas to a half-hour show.

A family gathered around their radio.
A family gathered around their radio.

So sit back and transport yourself to another era where radio was king.  Imagine sitting in the living room, the family crowded around the radio, listening in earnest to The Martian Chronicles.

Update, Sat Jun 3 17:58:46 UTC 2017:

As a consequence of the following videos, I’ve added a libertarian rant.  It cost me three of the regular tracks, as time was very tight.

Listen for Gun Control Kills.

Across the Zodiac : The Story of a Wrecked Record

Willy Ley encountered this Mars story in a German translation, and, failing to find the English original (possibly hampered by looking for it under the title Beyond the Zodiac, but Percy Greg was apparently a well-known English author), considered that it might be actually German.  The confusion was not helped by the fact that author Greg presents himself as translating a found manuscript.  Sam Moskowitz considers it the genesis of the Mars romance so characteristic of the early period of modern science fiction.

Continue reading “Across the Zodiac : The Story of a Wrecked Record”

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-05-28

Tales From SYL Ranch
Sunday, May 28, 20:00-22:00 UTC

The Old Fan’s Commentary On

Forbidden Planet

Forbidden Planet is a somewhat different film in terms of a commentary.  It’s arguably the best science fiction film of the 1950s.

Sturgeon's Law: 90% of Science Fiction is crap.
Sturgeon’s Law: 90% of Science Fiction is crap.

The 1950s was in some ways similar to the 1980s.  Following Star Wars, science fiction exploded in films.  However, Sturgeon’s Law held, and 90% of it was crap.  Most were consigned to the ashbins of VHS.  Some have been re-released on DVD and Bluray for a niche market that likes terrible movies.

The 1950s were similar.  The Atomic Age brought with it the idea there would soon be a massive breakthrough in power.  They assumed that some day soon, your home or even your car would be nuclear-powered.  This triggered an avalanche of science fiction films.

Sturgeon's Law: 90% of Science Fiction is crap.
Sturgeon’s Law: 90% of Science Fiction is crap.

Sturgeon’s Law was as true then as today.  90% of it was crap.  A lot of them haven’t survived at all.  The ones that did seem incredibly primitive by today’s standards.

Forbidden Planet was one of only two or three stand-out films of the 1950s.  This was in no small measure because it was produced by MGM.

At the time, MGM was among the premiere film companies in the world.  It didn’t lend its name to half-baked projects.  If MGM made a musical, it was a brilliant musical.  If MGM made a western, it was a brilliant western.

Leo, the MGM Lion
Leo, the MGM Lion

MGM would never produce Plan 9 From Outer Space, nor giant insects, nor 50-foot-tall women.  If MGM was going to lend its name to science fiction, it was going to be brilliant science fiction.

The result is Forbidden Planet.  It was glorious.  Cultural conceits and technical limitations aside, its ideas and plot still hold up today.

Monsters from the Id.
Monsters from the Id.

The special effects, while somewhat dated today, were landmark at the time.  Even today, some hold up.

The science behind the technology of the film was extremely well thought-out.  It looks somewhat dated today but even now it’s very well thought-out.   Where it needed technobabble and Hand-Wavium, it was reasoned technobabble and Hand-Wavium.

As always, to set the stage:

This time you have to back farther than me.  I first saw Forbidden Planet at the Rigel IV convention in Lincoln, Nebraska.  The convention marked my entrance into Star Trek fandom.  Until that time, I’d been an individual fan with a bare understanding that fandom existed somewhere.  After Rigel V, I was in it for life.

However, I was born in 1965.  Forbidden Planet was released in 1956, nine years before.

It was a different world, and one I can only imagine.  My only exposure to American culture of the time were my parents’ occasional stories, fictional movies and TV shows, and my own observations on the changes in culture since my birth.

As near as I can determine, this was the world in 1956:

There was nothing that we think of as entertainment.  There was television, radio, phonograph records, and personal pastimes (reading, involvement in local sports or organizations, etc).

The commercialization of television was just getting into full swing.  Imagine the Internet in the late 1990s.  No one but the fabulously wealthy could afford more than one TV.  The picture was grainy, low-definition, analog broadcast.  The vacuum cleaner could obliterate the picture, not to mention storms.

We actually had to do this. I'm not kidding.
We actually had to do this. I’m not kidding.

To receive TV signals, you needed an antenna (think of it as a low-tech satellite dish).  By the time I was born, these antennas dotted the roof of every home and apartment complex.  In 1956, one often used a much smaller, less effective interior portable antenna.

The picture still sucked.

There were only three networks (four if you were charitable and counted PBS — which no one did).  They didn’t run 24-hour programming.  It was typically only 6am – midnight.

TV was black-and-white.  Commercialization of color wouldn’t come for another ten years.

There was one phone, a land-line to the house. Sound quality anywhere but in your local town or city was terrible.  International calls were spotty at best — not to mention fantastically expensive.

Nothing we take for granted existed.  Not even air conditioning had reached the average home.  Indeed, air conditioning was a major selling points of movie theaters of the day.

(Ask my kids about the time we went to Blonde Ambition just to get away from the oppressive heat of July in the Upper Great Plains.)

From the Sears Catalog, Spring/Summer 1958
From the Sears Catalog, Spring/Summer 1958

Fashions were radically different for both men and women.  Men wore suits and hats.  Women wore dresses and rather complicated undergarments.  Jeans were becoming acceptable on pre-adult males, but no one over the age of 18 would be found at a job without his suit and tie.

It was certainly a more prudish culture than we think of in 2017.  Sex outside of marriage was actively discouraged even by other women.  A skirt with a hemline above the knees marked a woman as a slut.

Men were expected to be bread-winners.  If one relied on one’s wife for any source of income, a man was shamed by other men.  Taking hand-outs from the government, or charity of any kind, was seen as a character flaw.  Such a man was a bum, pure and simple.

Religion played a much larger role in American life.  Where some 30% of Americans now identify as atheists, the number in 1956 was so low as to be statistically insignificant.

That’s the most I can tell you about the era.  I wasn’t there.  All I can rely on is history.  To my knowledge, that’s what things were like in 1956.

If you’d like to follow along with the commentary, a DVD-quality stream will be available during the live show.  After that, you’re on your own.

The URL for the stream is:

Tales From SYL Ranch – 2017-05-21

Episode III:
The Old Fan’s Commentary On
The Star Wars Holiday Special
The Star Wars Holiday Special
Bill hopes that the Holiday Special is like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

My brain hurts.  Just watching this was a chore.  I’ve now seen it five times in my life, which was five too many.  I can’t even introduce it properly because it’s terrible in ways that are beyond description.

Carrie Fisher was out of her mind on blow.
Carrie Fisher was out of her mind on blow.

I wouldn’t watch it in advance, despite the fact that I’ll be streaming it from a YouTube version that’s been available for years.  In this case, I strongly advise that you pay attention to my commentary rather than the Holiday Special.

It’s really bad.  It’s not so bad it’s good, it’s just bad.

Mark Hamill was recovering from a car accident that severely injured his face.
Mark Hamill was recovering from a car accident that severely injured his face.

Vogon poetry may be the third worst in the universe, but The Star Wars Holiday Special is the worst thing in all of time and space.

It was bad when I first saw it in 1978.  It only aired once and never again.  It has never been released on any form of home video or official streaming.  It survives because by 1978, people were starting to buy VCRs.

The Holiday Special is so bad that George Lucas has disowned it, saying:

“If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it.”

I have no idea.
I have no idea.

Fortunately (or not) for posterity, the Internet means that it will never die.

This commentary is about my feelings when seeing this bizarre monstrosity for the first time.  It’s the only kind of commentary I can make.

I’ll not be playing The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy this week.  The Holiday Special is about 1:40.  I was faced with the choice of either leaving in H2G2 and stretching this madness into two weeks; or save your sanity by bumping H2G2.

I chose to save your sanity.  H2G2 will be back next week.

Next Week: The Old Fan's Commentary On Forbidden Planet
Next Week: The Old Fan’s Commentary On Forbidden Planet

Also next week:  the Old Fan’s Commentary On Forbidden Planet.

To set the stage:

It’s 1978.  Everything we’ve come to take for granted didn’t exist.  There was no streaming, no Blurays, no DVDs, no CDs, no personal computers of note, no Internet, and even the telephone was only a land-line to your house.  VCRs were beginning to hit the market.  Cassette tapes had become the medium of choice for personal music.

Star Wars had hit a year before and changed everything.  There were no summer blockbusters before Star Wars.  There were no gigantic merchandising enterprises before Star Wars.  There was no science fiction of note except very, very infrequently before Star Wars.

Star Wars changed everything.

Art Carney gives Chewbacca's father, Itchy, some porn. Really.
Art Carney gives Chewbacca’s father, Itchy, some porn.  Really.

When the Special aired around US Thanksgiving, Lucas was at work on the sequel to Star Wars.  I don’t recall if he’d named it at that time.  I’d been actively in fandom for at least a year, having joined Star Base Andromeda by then.

While we thought it odd that there would be a holiday-themed special in Star Wars, it could work.  The notion of a Wookiee Life Day — if fleshed-out — could be a parallel to Christmas.

What we got was incomprehensible.  There were really only two good things about it:

  • The entire main cast was in it.  According to Harrison Ford, it was stipulated in their contracts and they had no legal way out.
  • The cartoon introducing Boba Fett.

Beyond that, it’s a bizarre attempt to fit a variety show into Star Wars.  To call this an epic fail would do a disservice to all other fails.  It has, among other things:

  • Carrie Fisher is obviously out of her mind on blow.
  • Mark Hamill is recovering from a car accident that severely injured his face.  They put a ton of makeup and a wig on him to (unsuccessfully) hide it.  He looks like a cardboard cutout.
  • Chewie’s wife is named Mala — but his son is named Lumpy and his father Itchie.
  • More than half an hour of un-subtitled Wookiee noises.
  • Harvey Korman in multiple roles.  The worst is some guy in the Mos Eisley Cantina who pours booze into a hole at the top of his head.
  • Art Carney as some kind of rebel sympathizer who’s around primarily to translate the Wookiees.  That, and to give Itchy some VR porn.
  • Bea Arthur as a singing bartender at the Mos Eisley Cantina.
  • Jefferson Starship
  • The Wazzan Troupe
Harvey Corman knows.
Harvey Korman knows.

Really.  It’s all in there — and more.  It’s rather indescribable, hence the commentary.

We’ll be streaming the video via YouTube, so feel free to follow along.  Again, I advise not watching in advance, nor listening to anything other than my commentary.  It’s quite possible to go mad attempting to figure this out.

If you want to follow along, the video is right here; or you can see it at: